Wednesday, 9 May 2012

A Series of Unfortunate Events (Late Post)

I couldn't think of a more fitting title.

Last March 18, 2012, Sunday, my father was rushed to the hospital because of heart attack. When I reached the hospital, he was already unconscious and was just assisted with a breathing apparatus.  I wasn't able to talk to him anymore. He was in coma for two days. His breathing and heartbeat were just possible because of the respirator and medicine. The doctors urged us to just "pull the plug" since he was not showing any signs of recovery and even if he managed to breathe on his own, the damage in his brain was irreversible and thus he would forever be a worthless vegetable.

On March 20, Tuesday, with hearts sunk, we did what we thought would be best for all of us. We let the hospital took off all his medical apparatus and signed a waiver that Papa would not be revived when his heart failed. We said our goodbyes to him but we believed, even up to now, that he's in a better place now. The disappointments and stresses of his earthly life were now gone.

Just when we thought that everything was at it's worst, something much worse happened.

My brother, just 22 years old, had a sudden change of behavior about 2-3 days before my father's interment. He started believing that he was the Messiah. He never stopped talking. He didn't sleep for two straight days. He ate very little. He was very insistent on being a Mason and studying in Harvard. He believed that he has an IQ comparable to Einstein. He felt that he would rule the world. The timid, isolated boy was now in euphoria, talking non-stop and nonsense to every person he saw. He had suicidal and murderous thoughts. Because of these, the family decided to bring him to a psychiatrist right after my father's burial. The doctor's diagnosis was that he needed to be institutionalized because he was showing signs of psychosis. After a week of observation and symptoms treatment, he was diagnosed with BIPOLAR DISORDER.

Confirming my brother's mental disorder was shocking and disheartening for all of us. I, for one, didn't have any first-hand experience with mentally handicapped people or the sorts. We did not know anyone in the family who has one. This was the kind of illness I never thought my family would ever experience.

He was just 22 years old. He had his whole life ahead of him. We used to dream a lot about how we would have a good life when we start earning our own money. Then, in just a blink of an eye, all of those came running downhill, disappearing into a black hole of hopelessness.

I miss my dad. Now, I am missing my brother. The partner I thought I could depend on in this time of crisis abandoned me. I felt a betrayal. I am mad. I want to get mad at my brother for being weak. I didn't know why all of these had to happen one after the other. I tried looking for the bad things that me and my family did and tried to comprehend if we really deserved this. A lot of things went on and on in my head but I couldn't let other people see it. I couldn't be weak because there's just my Mom and I left. I needed to be strong for her.

Friday, 6 January 2012

Hello Week 1 of 2012

Monday: Finally went back to QC after two weeks of slavery in my hometown. Haha. I was really madabugin and all while I was home because they made me do a lot of errands. I'm not used to doing household chores. I can't wait to get back to my lazy and carefree QC life. On my last night though, I was very regretful and wished I had been more obedient and cheerful while at home. I felt guilty about how I acted as a daughter, especially during the holiday season.
A reminder for me to be unselfish when it comes to my parents.
As soon as I set foot in le bhaws, Jami texted me to sleep over in their place and make the infamous jelly flan that I've been telling her about . So I just dropped off my baggage and went straight to San Juan. We were able to make 6 containers of jelly flan from the ingredients that I brought. Yey!:) Twas nice seeing Jami again and catching up with her 'cause it feels like ages since I last saw her.

Oh and wait! Rewind! How could I forget! The sweetest thing! When I got in le bhaws, Keysi left a gift on my bed. Aaawww. It was very touching. I didn't expect to receive any gift from her. Twas a pink Vapur.:) <reminder to insert picture here> And Jami organized my cabinet! I swear I'm gonna marry that girl in my reincarnation.

Tuesday: Twas very tiring! After I got back in le bhaws from Jami's crib, I went to school for my STS class but poof! There's no class yet! Yey!:) So I went to SM to buy appropriate containers for the jelly flan that Jami and I did the night before. I'd be giving the jelly flans to Aga's mom, Keysi, and the BKB Crew as a Christmas/New Year/pasalubong treat. When I got back, I arranged everything, complete with ribbons and whatnots. Then went back to school. No classes again. Second yey!:)

Then I surprise-visited Aga in their house. He thought I wouldn't be able to drop by and was very tampururot about it. So when I gave him a kiss while he was asleep, he was pleasantly surprised.:) I missed him so much. Then we went to BKB, together with the treats. The BKB people were very happy and touched by the dessert but were also skeptic to try it because of my notoriety when it comes to cooking. Hehe. After multiple assurance that it's safe to eat and delicious, they finally gave in and gave it a try. They loved it!:) Or at least they made an effort to make it look like that.

BKB also had an audition for the bar's band this day but just had two participants.:( Nevertheless, the winner, HINLALATO, was fuqn awesome!!! They are a blues rock band or something. They were amazing!!! Hands down. Afdaasiefjdadfld. Ep, especially loved them. As Lionel said, nakakita siya ng ka-tenga niya because they're of the same genre, which is not that popular in this country and generation.

As the night progressed, Ep somehow became drunk. As he, Oca, Keith, Aga, and I are on the same table, they made fun of us by urging us to kiss in front of them. As I've said, we're not into PDA and Aga has this reputation of being a tough lover. They said they haven't seen us kiss, etc etc. Maygad! Aga was giving in to the peer pressure! Good thing I was sane enough not to give in to their pang-uuto. I would never in my entire lifetime kiss in front of people directly staring at me. It's a freakshow for goddamnsake! (Well, matrimonial kiss is an exception).

Wednesday: After BKB, I slept in Aga's house. We missed each other that much.:) Then I went back to le bhaws to shower and get dressed for my class. Anddd we dont have a class. I swear I'm in the right school. Teachers might just still be enjoying the holiday fever that's why. So I just went to UP IS to pass my request letter to have my pilot test conducted there. Then I went to SM to pass time by doing grocery shopping while waiting for my Orcomm class. Which... you already know what happened. Or didn't happen.

In the evening, Jami and I loitered in Figaro Technohub to do stuffs. I was supposed to research for my Educ paper and she to look for apartments/commercial spaces for rent. I wasn't able to do my part because I wasn't feeling well. We waited up until Keysi's "lunch break" and stayed until 12 midnight.

Thursday: Class resumed! But I woke up late so I wasn't able to go to my STS class. Shoot, how many absences have I spent? Well, sorta normal school day. We didn't have class yet in Educ but I was able to chat for a good one hour with a class mate, Dei. We were both graduating so we exchanged thesis blues.

Then, BKB again with Cha. Her crush's band's playing so she urged me to go to finally meet the guy (of his dreams? Haha). We seated with Parada. We've already met Alvin (and the Chipmunks), the lead vocal, during BKB's grand opening but didn't know that he has a band, much more that he sings. I was introduced to the band's other members: Raymond (Buwi of PNE look-alike), the bassist. He's a UP FA Painting student. He said that he was taught how to drink and smoke by his parents when he was in Grade 5 or 6. Now he has some liver whatever close to malfunction, and still drinks. The drummer, is also a Raymond. I wasn't able to chat with him much. What I remember was that he bought this funny tasting sparkling water. Haha. Then lastly is LJ, the rhythm guitarist. He's a doctor. He's 30 but he looked the youngest among all of them. He doesn't smoke and drink. He insisted on driving me and Cha home. Parada was good. Or maybe I wasn't just expecting them to rock like that because I've known them as humans first before musicians.

Friday: No class at all. I went to CAL Lib to get a leisure reading book. Then to Educ Lib to look for annotated bibliography books. I wasn't able to go to BKB because I was not feeling well.:(

Jelly-Panda-Cat Attachment

We don’t call ourselves bestfriends because it’s too mainstream for us. But yeah,  in Keysi’s words, we are co-dependent. We can’t live without each other.

I’ve met Jami seven years ago (woah we’ve known each other that long??? And I’ve been studying that long? Shit.) when I was a freshman. We were seatmates in PanPil 12. Being a fresh blood, I was naturally very friendly and excited to meet new people so I approached her and talked to her, blah blah blah. Hmm bakit nga ba? A! I was obsessed with guitars that time. I just learnt how to play the guitar and it was my world. So when she introduced herself (first day class intros) as someone who plays the guitar, I automatically fixed my sight at her and targeted her. Next thing I know, I’ve invited her to be my housemate and so thus began whirlwind of experiences lathered with clandestine stories and fun-filled tales. As they say, you’ll never truly know a person until you live in the same roof. Lucky for me, she was able to tolerate the mess and laze that I am and we managed to maintain the “co-dependence” even after several years.

Kesi, is Aiza Seguerra transformed into human form. Twas my first thought  when Jami introduced us to one another. Kesi and Jam are classmates, coursemates, and batchmates but have not been close to each other until later their stay in Chem Engg. Just like Jami, we hit it off right away too. Her constant sleepovers in our boarding house finally progressed into paying a bed monthly. So we, three, became live-in partners. (I suppose it unnecessary to say that Keysi was able to pass my mess and laze toleration test, too.) Thus began our threesome.

Cheesy as it may sound, and so I would never ever ever dare say it out loud to them (unless drunk), they are the only reason I can look back in my college years and tell myself I had fun. They’ve made my horrible college existence bearable.

To more years of surprising discoveries, thrilling first times, fulfilling breakthroughs, bursting laughters, and never-ending threesome awesomeness! I love you both and forgive me for sprinkling too much drama in this post.