Bucket List of Things I'll Buy...

once I get a job and earn lotsa money:

1. A camera!!! It seems like there's at least a 1:1 ratio of camera and family. I feel like my family's the only one in the planet who doesn't have a camera (at least within our SES group). Not to jump into the "photography bandwagon" but documenting your life's events is actually something practical and worth spending time, money, and effort on.
 
Sony DSC-J10/L  -  16.1 Mega Pixels  -  4x Optical Zoom 4GB Internal memory -  Sweep Panorama  -  2.7" Clear Photo LCD Screen -  Intelligent Auto Mode

2. A smartphone. Everyone who knows me well would know how much I LOVE cellphones. I used to change phones from time to time but since times are tough now, I can't afford to do that anymore. But I still keep myself educated about the latest in mobile phone from time to time. And right now, I'm setting my eye to the new Samsung Galaxy Nexus. It's awesome!!! It got the latest Android OS, v4.0 (Ice Cream Sandwich) which is made to match its Dual-core 1.2GHz Cortex-A9 CPU. So, virtually, it really should be FAST! Man, I would really really love to lay my hands on that stiff, sexy thing.
Samsung Galaxy Nexus


3. An aircon. Actually, we should have our house renovated first before we can use this in our room. My brother and I's room (Yes, we share the same bedroom. We're losers like that.) is a box! There's no window. Technically, there are windows. But the windows go out to another room so still, no fresh air comes through. And that, my friend, is also the reason why we can't install an AC there. It's like hell!!! Specially during summer! If you think it's hot where you are right now, wait til you get to our room. No kidding. Sometimes I feel like I just pass out when I sleep.

4. Bathroom. It's not something that I would BUY, but it's something I want to save up on. I want to have our bathroom floor (and walls, too) re-tiled. The tiles are so small so the dirt seeps through the gaps between the tiles and it irritates me. It looks so messy. I want big tiles in the bathroom. And colors! Also, I would want our bathroom installed with hot and cold shower. Actually, I want a hotel-like bathroom. I dunno. It just feels like I'm suddenly developing an OC-ness in bathrooms. Gahd! These pictures are to die for!

 

-------------*+*+**+*+**+*+**+*+*---------------

Sooo... There you go! These should serve as my INSPIRATION. I've gotta work hard. Be the BEST. So I can splurge on these things and more. CAN'T WAIT TO BE RICH!!! ^__^

Cheers to high hopes and higher optimism!

Dumb Thoughts

Four years. FOUR FRIGGIN YEARS! Such a long time... But really, what was all that about?

Some people date for a year and instantly feel that they already want to marry each other, spend the rest of their life together, build a family, whatever teleserye-ish things.

Then, there's us. Four years and still it doesn't feel "right."

So, why stay/ed you ask? I dunno. Maybe because I was hoping. Am always hoping. That things will turn out right. That we WILL turn out to be the heroes of the teleserye and not just the extras whose stories you won't really get to follow through (cause it's boring and not romantic enough).

Maybe because I'm lonely and pathetic. Maybe I'm just desperate and so afraid to be alone. Maybe he, "us", has already become a habit. You see, there are just some things in life that you don't need/want/like anymore but you just can't let go. You're just used to seeing it there, lying lifeless in the corner. There's a certain comfort in knowing that it's there.

Maybe because I don't have a sane reason to end whatever we have. None of that third party stories, you and me against the world dramas, family feuds. Nothing. It's more of internal, you know. The kind of turmoil that goes unnoticed by everyone except you.

"You're just not my prince." The fuck. Whoever says that? WHO AM I TO SAY THAT? But really, don't I deserve to feel like a princess when with him? Have my right to be wooed by him been terminated ever since we had an agreement?

I'm a girl. I'm a cheesy-pussy. I believe the koreanovelas. I believe in romantic love. Not being the man who can give those to me, is that a reason to part ways with him? Or is that just a silly move an immature woman will do?


UPDATE: Or... well, maybe this IS love. Recognizing that there are A LOT of imperfect things going around in our relationship but still sticking with each other no matter what. In spite of all the craziness and sometimes boringness of it all, I still want to be with him.